{"id":4595,"date":"2020-06-13T15:07:03","date_gmt":"2020-06-13T22:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alteritas.net\/GXL\/?page_id=4595"},"modified":"2020-06-13T15:07:03","modified_gmt":"2020-06-13T22:07:03","slug":"first-throwdown-of-road-house-16-july-2011","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/alteritas.net\/GXL\/?page_id=4595","title":{"rendered":"First ThrowDown of Road House – 16 July 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"
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 <\/p>\n

Chapters Four, Five and Ten
\nPlus
\nThree HubCap Songs — Homer, I\u2019d Go to Jail for You, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy<\/p>\n

Xerxes Lang \/ Red Dog Young
\n\u00a9
\nUniversity Hills, California, July 16, 2011<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\"page1image46527072\"<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Prologue<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“Poetry,\u2029schmoetry,”\u2029Richard\u2029Wilbur\u2029quotes\u2029 one\u2029of\u2029the\u2029Texas\u2029recruits\u2029in\u2029the\u202936th\u2029Bataillon\u2029 saying,\u2029though\u2029he\u2029adds\u2029he\u2029had\u2029 “warm\u2029and\u2029amusing\u2029relationships\u2029 with\u2029almost\u2029everyone,\u2029partly\u2029because,\u2029 mostly\u2029country\u2029Texans,\u2029they\u2029were\u2029 enjoyers\u2029of\u2029words\u2029\u00ad\u00ad\u2029good\u2029storytellers\u2029 and\u2029inventive\u2029cussers.”<\/h6>\n

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This\u2029is\u2029a\u2029poem\u2029in\u2029Southern\u2029speech,\u2029more\u2029precisely\u2029\u201cTexas\u2029Tawk\u201d\u2029\u2010\u2029a\u2029language\u2029I\u2029 more\u2029or\u2029less\u2029forgot\u2029over\u2029the\u2029years.\u2029\u2029You\u2029are\u2029going\u2029to\u2029hear\u2029two\u2029chapters\u2029plus\u2029the\u2029 brief\u2029conclusion,\u2029as\u2029well\u2029as\u2029three\u2029\u201cHubCap\u2029Songs\u201d\u2029by\u2029Red\u2029Dog.\u2029<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

The\u2029idea\u2029for\u2029Road\u2029House\u2029came\u2029to\u2029me\u2029when\u2029I\u2029was\u2029thinking\u2029about\u2029travel,\u2029and\u2029in\u2029 particular\u2029a\u2029poem\u2029by\u2029Horace\u2029I\u2029once\u2029taught.\u2029I\u2029Fiddled\u2029at\u2029it\u2029a\u2029while\u2029till\u2029I\u2029realized\u2029 I’d\u2029need\u2029some\u2029help.\u2029The\u2029proximity\u2029of\u2029my\u2029cousin\u2029Red\u2029Dog\u2029made\u2029me\u2029think\u2029he\u2029 might\u2029help\u2029me\u2029speak\u2029like\u2029that\u2029again.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2029they\u2029call\u2029in\u2029the\u2029movies\u2029plot,\u2029character,\u2029scenario\u2029\u2010\u2029in\u2029all\u2029that\u2029we\u2029became\u2029a\u2029 tag\u2029team.\u2029\u2029The\u2029music\u2029is\u2029his,\u2029from\u2029his\u2029collection\u2029of\u2029HubCap\u2029songs,\u2029Three\u2029Chords\u2029 and\u2029the\u2029Truth.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Parental\u2029guidance\u2029warning\u2029for\u2029the\u2029Ladies,\u2029and\u2029for\u2029Gentlemen\u2029present\u2029who\u2029may\u2029 not\u2029like\u2029having\u2029exposed\u2029out\u2029in\u2029public\u2029how\u2029they\u2029think\u2029and\u2029what\u2029they\u2029do.\u2029<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Homer\u2029\u2013\u2029by\u2029HubCap\u2029Brown \u2029<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2029called\u2029my\u2029brother\u2029Homer\u2029because\u2029that\u2029was\u2029his\u2029name He\u2029really\u2029was\u2029a\u2029weirdo\u2029but\u2029I\u2029loved\u2029him\u2029just\u2029the\u2029same At\u2029the\u2029ripe\u2029old\u2029age\u2029of\u2029sixteen\u2029while\u2029dad\u2029was\u2029at\u2029the\u2029bar He\u2029grabbed\u2029all\u2029his\u2029money\u2029and\u2029he\u2029took\u2029off\u2029in\u2029the\u2029car<\/p>\n

My\u2029daddy\u2029he\u2029was\u2029mad\u2029as\u2029hell\u2029he\u2029was\u2029Fit\u2029to\u2029be\u2029tied I\u2029began\u2029to\u2029think\u2029that\u2019\u2029be\u2029the\u2029day\u2029my\u2029brother\u2029died! Daddy\u2019s\u2029tongue\u2029was\u2029sharp\u2029and\u2029cut\u2029just\u2029like\u2029a\u2029knife But\u2029bruised\u2029and\u2029battered\u2029appropriately,\u2029he\u2029came\u2029home\u2029with\u2029his\u2029life<\/p>\n

Daddy\u2029whooped\u2029him\u2029pretty\u2029good,\u2029leather\u2029belt\u2029and\u2029all Said\u2029he\u2029had\u2029to\u2029earn\u2029his\u2029keep\u2029then\u2029get\u2029out\u2029in\u2029the\u2029fall Well\u2029Homer\u2029he\u2029paid\u2029daddy\u2029and\u2029moved\u2029out\u2029like\u2029he\u2029said I\u2029haven\u2019t\u2029seen\u2029him\u2029since\u2029that\u2029day\u2029and\u2029now\u2029I\u2029guess\u2029he\u2019s\u2029dead<\/p>\n

I\u2029called\u2029my\u2029brother\u2029Homer\u2029because\u2029that\u2029was\u2029his\u2029name He\u2029really\u2029was\u2029a\u2029weirdo\u2029but\u2029I\u2029loved\u2029him\u2029just\u2029the\u2029same At\u2029the\u2029ripe\u2029old\u2029age\u2029of\u2029sixteen\u2029while\u2029dad\u2029was\u2029at\u2029the\u2029bar He\u2029grabbed\u2029all\u2029his\u2029money\u2029and\u2029he\u2029took\u2029off\u2029in\u2029the\u2029car<\/p>\n

I\u2029called\u2029my\u2029brother\u2029Homer\u2029because\u2029that\u2029was\u2029his\u2029name He\u2029really\u2029was\u2029a\u2029weirdo\u2029but\u2029I\u2029loved\u2029him\u2029just\u2029the\u2029same He\u2029really\u2029was\u2029a\u2029weirdo\u2029but\u2029I\u2029loved\u2029him\u2029just\u2029the\u2029same<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Insert\u2029for\u2029Performance\u2029Purposes:<\/strong><\/p>\n

We\u2029join\u2029our\u2029heros,\u2029Virg\u2029and\u2029Johnny,\u2029the\u2029Narrator,\u2029plus\u2029our\u2029heroine,\u2029Bea,\u2029right\u2029in\u2029 the\u2029middle\u2029of\u2029things.<\/p>\n

Virg\u2029and\u2029Johnny\u2029have\u2029just\u2029liberated\u2029Bea\u2029from\u2029the\u2029clutches\u2029of\u2029two\u2029nasty\u2029Pimps,\u2029 who\u2029were\u2029carryin\u2019\u2029her,\u2029an\u2029underage\u2029female,\u2029into\u2029certain\u2029servitude.\u2029To\u2029do\u2029so,\u2029 though,\u2029they\u2029had\u2029to\u2029abscond\u2029with\u2029the\u2029stash\u2029of\u2029dope\u2029they\u2029were\u2029supposed\u2029to\u2029be\u2029 holdin\u2019\u2029for\u2029the\u2029beneKit\u2029of\u2029their\u2029Partners,\u2029themselves\u2029not\u2029exactly\u2029savory\u2029 characters.<\/p>\n

Together,\u2029they\u2029were\u2029all\u2029takin\u2019\u2029the\u2029dope\u2029to\u2029a\u2029place\u2029called\u2029Sparks\u2029City\u2029and\u2029had\u2029 stopped\u2029in\u2029a\u2029sleezy\u2029motel\u2029by\u2029the\u2029side\u2029of\u2029the\u2029road.<\/p>\n

This\u2029all\u2029came\u2029about\u2029\u2018cause\u2029Bea\u2029seduced\u2029Virg,\u2029thinking\u2029he\u2029had\u2029the\u2029keys\u2029to\u2029the\u2029 truck,\u2029whereas\u2029Johnny\u2029actually\u2029did.\u2029\u2029It\u2029was\u2029her\u2029only\u2029way\u2029of\u2029escape.\u2029Virg\u2029took\u2029the\u2029 seduction\u2029personally,\u2029as\u2029folks\u2029sometimes\u2029do.\u2029Now\u2029he\u2019s\u2029seriously\u2029in\u2029Love.<\/p>\n

It\u2029is\u2029early\u2029morning.\u2029They\u2029are\u2029on\u2029the\u2029run.\u2029in\u2029my\u2029old\u2029Chevy\u2029pick\u2010up\u2029truck.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Howdy, D’jeet Yet?<\/strong><\/p>\n

We\u2029high\u2010tailed\u2029it\u2029like\u2029bats\u2029out\u2010a\u2029hell,\u2029Burma\u2029shave signs\u2029Flashing\u2029by\u2029so\u2029quick\u2029Virg,\u2029who\u2029liked\u2029 readin\u2019\u2029\u2018em\u2029off\u2029one\u2029by\u2029one,\u2029couldn\u2019t\u2029keep\u2029up\u2029\u2010\u2010 \u2018bout\u2029the\u2029only\u2029reading\u2029he\u2029ever\u2029did\u2029anyway.\u2029 I\u2029drove,\u2029a\u2019ways\u2029looking\u2029back,\u2029’cept\u2029when\u2029Virg\u2029 and\u2029Bea\u2029climbed\u2029over\u2029the\u2029seat\u2029into\u2029the\u2029cubby\u2029hole.\u2029\u2029 I\u2029wud\u2019n\u2019t\u2029gonna\u2029stop\u2029till\u2029miles\u2029stretched\u2029between\u2029us\u2029 and\u2029the\u2029Partners\u2029and\u2029their\u2029new\u2029partners,\u2029the\u2029Pimps. I\u2029had\u2029a\u2029map\u2029we\u2019d\u2029brung\u2029along,\u2029found\u2029the\u2029least\u2029obvious\u2029 path\u2029of\u2029escape,\u2029one\u2029that\u2029dwindled\u2029right\u2029off\u2029the\u2029map.\u2029 I\u2029drove\u2029on\u2029and\u2029on,\u2029hopin\u2019\u2029for\u2029a\u2029road\u2029house\u2029we\u2029could\u2029 stop\u2029and\u2029eat,\u2029but\u2029we\u2029weren\u2019t\u2029goin\u2019\u2029nowhere,\u2029just\u2029fast,\u2029 and\u2029there\u2029was\u2029nothin\u2019\u2029nowhere.\u2029All\u2029I\u2029could\u2029do\u2029was\u2029dream\u2029 of\u2029food,\u2029like\u2029in\u2029HubCap\u2029Brown\u2019s\u2029song\u2029\u2018bout\u2029mashed\u2029 potatoes,\u2029\u2018cept\u2029that\u2029I\u2029have\u2029most\u2029all\u2029my\u2029teeth.<\/p>\n

Before\u2029too\u2029long\u2029asphalt\u2029gave\u2029out\u2029to\u2029gravel\u2029and\u2029ruts. Then\u2029a\u2029storm\u2029brew\u2019d\u2029up,\u2029the\u2029sky\u2029grew\u2029dark,\u2029split\u2029in\u2029half.\u2029\u2029 Couldn\u2019t\u2029see\u2029a\u2029dad\u2010gum\u2029thing,\u2029pulled\u2029over\u2029 to\u2029wait\u2029out\u2029a\u2029dee\u2010luge\u2029the\u2029likes\u2029a\u2010which\u2029I\u2029never\u2029seen.\u2029\u2029 Virg\u2029and\u2029Bea\u2029crawled\u2029back\u2029up\u2029front.\u2029We\u2029sat\u2029there\u2029 a\u2029bit,\u2029rain\u2029pounding\u2029down,\u2029windows\u2029fogging\u2029up.\u2029\u2029 It\u2029was\u2029a\u2029real\u2029turd\u2010Floater,\u2029\u2018nuff\u2029\u2029to\u2029strangle\u2029frogs.\u2029 Bea\u2029was\u2029sittin\u2019\u2029between\u2029us,\u2029shoulder\u2029brushin\u2019\u2029up\u2029 like\u2029accident\u2019ly,\u2029moist\u2029and\u2029bare\u2029against\u2029my\u2029own.\u2029\u2029 Hot\u2029and\u2029sweaty,\u2029she\u2029smelled\u2029mighty\u2029good,\u2029had a\u2029ring\u2029of\u2029Jones\u2019\u2029beads\u2029around\u2029her\u2029pretty\u2029neck.<\/p>\n

Virg\u2029had\u2029an\u2029old\u2029eight\u2010track\u2029he’d\u2029brung\u2029along\u2029I\u2029begged\u2029 him\u2029please\u2029not\u2029to\u2029play.\u2029\u2029Never\u2029shoulda\u2029hummed\u2029 any\u2029HubCap\u2029a\u2010tall,\u2029just\u2029got\u2029him\u2029started\u2029off.\u2029 He\u2029got\u2029it\u2029out\u2010a\u2029the\u2029glove\u2029compartment,\u2029where he\u2019d\u2029also\u2029moved\u2029the\u2029gun,\u2029and\u2029slid\u2029it\u2029in,\u2029a\u2029tunehe\u2029loved,\u2029HubCap\u2019s\u2029I\u2019d\u2029Go\u2029to\u2029Jail\u2029for\u2029You.\u2029\u2029<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Hung\u2029up\u2029on\u2029the\u2029tune,\u2029not\u2029sure\u2029of\u2029the\u2029words,\u2029Virg\u2029made\u2029up\u2029 his\u2029own:\u2029I\u2029get\u2029there,\u2029I\u2019ll\u2029shut\u2029my\u2029eyes,\u2029think\u00ada\u2029you.\u2029 Not\u2029HubCap\u2019s\u2029words,\u2029but\u2029Virg,\u2029he\u2029had\u2029some\u2029right\u2029 idea.\u2029He\u2029done\u2029his\u2029time,\u2029knew\u2029in\u2029the\u2029pen\u2029they\u2029do\u2029 to\u2029you\u2029what\u2029they\u2029can\u2029till\u2029you\u2029Figure\u2029out\u2029how\u2029to\u2029do\u2029it\u2029 back\u2029again\u2029to\u2029them.\u2029And\u2029Bea\u2029was\u2029jail\u2029bait\u2029 for\u2029sure,\u2029once\u2029you\u2029got\u2029a\u2029close\u2029look.\u2029Even\u2029out\u2029 here\u2029in\u2029the\u2029sticks,\u2029the\u2029Law\u2029casts\u2029a\u2029prejudicial\u2029eye\u2029 on\u2029big\u2029disparities\u2029of\u2029age\u2029\u2010\u2010\u2029lessun\u2029you\u2019re\u2029related.<\/p>\n

The\u2029sky\u2029Finally\u2029cleared.\u2029We\u2029drove\u2029on\u2029till\u2029we\u2029got\u2029 to\u2029a\u2029gate\u2029and,\u2029a\u2029piece\u2029behind,\u2029a\u2029trailer\u2029house\u2029set\u2029up\u2029 on\u2029blocks,\u2029surrounded\u2029by\u2029dumps\u2029and\u2029sheds.\u2029A\u2029geezer,\u2029 crusty\u2029coot\u2029with\u2029straggly\u2029hair,\u2029was\u2029rockin’\u2029on\u2029his\u2029porch.\u2029 He\u2029looked\u2029us\u2029over\u2029good,\u2029stood,\u2029then\u2029peered\u2029over\u2029 right\u2029into\u2029the\u2029cab,\u2029almost\u2029had\u2029a\u2029hissy\u2029Fit.Then\u2029he\u2029said,\u2029like\u2029to\u2029long\u2010lost\u2029family\u2029jess\u2029rec\u2010a\u2010nized:\u2029 Howdy,\u2029d’jeet\u2029yet?\u2029\u2029\u00ad\u00ad\u2029hospitality\u2029I\u2029Figured\u2029 havin’\u2029something\u2029to\u2029do\u2029with\u2029Bea.\u2029\u2029He\u2029sat\u2029us\u2029down,\u2029went for\u2029a\u2029mess\u2029of\u2029bacon\u2029and\u2029beans,\u2029a\u2029clay\u2029crock. Then\u2029in\u2029Mason\u2029jars\u2029he\u2029served\u2029us\u2029up\u2029right\u2029there in\u2029the\u2029yard\u2029some\u2029of\u2029the\u2029best\u2029white\u2029lightnin\u2019\u2029\u2029I\u2029ever\u2029had.<\/p>\n

Homer,\u2029his\u2029name,\u2029didn\u2019t\u2029think\u2029much\u2029of\u2029folks,\u2029 why\u2029he\u2029lived\u2029way\u2029out\u2029there,\u2029his\u2029only\u2029friends pythons\u2029kept\u2029in\u2029tanks\u2029they\u2029slithered\u2029out\u2010a\u2029at\u2029will.\u2029\u2029 Them\u2029and\u2029the\u2029wildcat\u2029he\u2029let\u2029out\u2029at\u2029night.\u2029\u2029She\u2029keeps\u2029 the\u2029pole\u2029cats\u2029away.\u2029\u2029Personally,\u2029don’t\u2029mind\u2029their\u2029smell.\u2029\u2029 She\u2029dudn’t\u2029like\u2029it.\u2029She\u2029don\u2019t\u2029like\u2029the\u2029smell\u2029of\u2029nobody\u2029but\u2029me.<\/p>\n

Homer\u2029didn\u2019t\u2029mind\u2029people\u2029when\u2029he\u2029had\u2029music\u2029to\u2029play, cuz\u2029that’s\u2029what\u2029music’s\u2029for.\u2029\u2029Whisky,\u2029weed\u2029too. Bea\u2029herself\u2029didn\u2019t\u2029care\u2029much\u2029for\u2029hooch,\u2029and\u2029she\u2029like\u00a0the\u2029shit\u2029Homer\u2029had\u2029a\u2029patch\u2029grownin\u2019\u2029of\u2029back\u2029in\u2029a\u2029plot\u2029 hidden\u2029in\u2029the\u2029pine\u2029trees\u2029where\u2029the\u2029sun\u2029shined\u2029jess\u2029right. We\u2029offered\u2029Homer\u2029some\u2029of\u2029ours,\u2029but\u2029he\u2029demurred: Affects\u2029my\u2029memory,\u2029when\u2029I\u2029gotta\u2029play,\u2029not\u2029like\u2029Johnny\u2029Corn.\u2029 We\u2029drank\u2029a\u2029while,\u2029shot\u2029the\u2029breeze,\u2029Finished\u2029the\u2029jug,\u2029 polishin\u2019\u2029off\u2029the\u2029beans\u2029with\u2029crusts\u2029of\u2029stale\u2029bread.\u2029\u2029 Then\u2029Homer\u2029got\u2029his\u2029ax,\u2029strummed\u2029a\u2029coupla\u2029chords,\u2029 launched\u2029into\u2029his\u2029version\u2029of\u2029I\u2019d\u2029Go\u2029to\u2029Jail\u2029for\u2029You.\u2029<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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I\u2019d\u2029Go\u2029to\u2029Jail\u2029for\u2029You\u2029\u2013\u2029by\u2029Hub\u2010Cap\u2029Brown<\/strong><\/p>\n

First\u2029time\u2029that\u2029I\u2029saw\u2029Lorene\u2029she\u2029was\u2029waving\u2029me\u2029goodbye An\u2029ice\u2029cold\u2029beer\u2029in\u2029her\u2029left\u2029hand,\u2029a\u2029pistol\u2029by\u2029her\u2029side Said\u2029she\u2029robbed\u2029the\u2029Glendale\u2029train,\u2029then\u2029put\u2029the\u2029hammer\u2029down Off\u2029she\u2029went\u2029in\u2029a\u2029trial\u2029of\u2029dust\u2029heading\u2029out\u2029of\u2029town<\/p>\n

Even\u2029though\u2029I\u2029had\u2029my\u2029doubts\u2029twas\u2029true\u2029love\u2029at\u2029First\u2029sight If\u2029mama\u2029was\u2029alive\u2029today\u2029she\u2019d\u2029say\u2029that\u2029I\u2029was\u2029right I\u2029know\u2029that\u2029I\u2029love\u2029her\u2029and\u2029that\u2029she\u2029will\u2029be\u2029true I\u2029swear\u2029on\u2029mama\u2019s\u2029bible\u2029that\u2029I\u2019d\u2029go\u2029to\u2029jail\u2029for\u2029you.<\/p>\n

Chorus:<\/p>\n

Well\u2029you\u2029done\u2029the\u2029crime\u2029I\u2019ll\u2029do\u2029the\u2029time\u2029no\u2029matter\u2029what\u2029it\u2029takes We\u2029all\u2029have\u2029our\u2029troubles\u2029and\u2029I\u2029know\u2029you\u2029made\u2029mistakes You\u2029are\u2029my\u2029sweetest\u2029darlin\u2019\u2029girl\u2029no\u2029matter\u2029what\u2029you\u2029do I\u2029swear\u2029on\u2029mama\u2019s\u2029bible\u2029that\u2029I\u2019d\u2029go\u2029to\u2029jail\u2029for\u2029you.<\/p>\n

Tag\u2029ending:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Yes\u2029I\u2029swear\u2029on\u2029mama\u2019s\u2029bible\u2029that\u2029I\u2019d\u2029go\u2029to\u2029jail\u2029for\u2029you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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8<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Yonder Out-a Sight<\/p>\n

Even\u2029Virg\u2029could\u2029tell\u2029Homer\u2019s\u2029voice\u2029sounded\u2029famil\u2019yer\u2029 as\u2029could\u2029be.\u2029\u2029I\u2029know\u2029your\u2029Christian\u2029name,\u2029he\u2029asked,\u2029 what\u00adcher\u2029fam\u2019ly\u2029name?\u2029\u2029\u00ad\u00ad\u2029Brown,\u2029the\u2029old\u2029cuss\u2029replied.\u2029\u2029 I’m\u2029known\u2029as\u2029Homer\u2029Brown.\u2029\u2029Virg\u2019s\u2029eyes\u2029went\u2029wide:\u2029\u2029 Related\u2029to\u2029HubCap\u2029Brown?\u2029\u2029Homer\u2029looked\u2029off\u2029into\u2029space\u2029 like\u2029somethin’\u2029was\u2029hoverin’\u2029up\u2029there\u2029on\u2029high.\u2029\u2029 We\u2019re\u2029related\u2029for\u2029sure.\u2029I\u2029can\u2019t\u2029tell\u2029you\u2029exactly\u2029how.\u2029\u2029 From\u2029the\u2029way\u2029he\u2029sung\u2029though,\u2029you\u2029could\u2029place\u2029a\u2029bet,\u2029\u2029 Homer\u2029shared\u2029the\u2029blood\u2029of\u2029Waldo\u2029HubCap\u2029Brown.<\/p>\n

If\u2029Virg\u2029and\u2029me\u2029had\u2029been\u2029the\u2029Pimps\u2029we\u2029mighta\u2029cut\u2029a\u2029deal, Homer\u2019s\u2029hankering\u2029hangin\u2019\u2029out\u2029for\u2029all\u2010a\u2029us\u2029to\u2029see. Virg\u2029and\u2029me,\u2029we\u2029bad\u2029enough\u2029boys,\u2029used\u2029to\u2029cheat, thieve\u2029and\u2029brawl.\u2029You\u2029know\u2029we\u2029was\u2029slingin\u2019\u2029dope,\u2029 holding\u2029a\u2029stash\u2029we\u2029stole.\u2029But\u2029there\u2029are\u2029lines\u2029I\u2029won’t\u2029 cross.\u2029\u2029Pimps\u2029are\u2029the\u2029scum\u2029of\u2029the\u2029earth,\u2029leeching\u2029like\u2029 gov\u2019rnment\u2029off\u2029somebody\u2029else’s\u2029honest\u2029work.<\/p>\n

Homer\u2029must\u2010a\u2029gathered\u2029we\u2029were\u2029on\u2029the\u2029run from\u2029sump\u2019um\u2029Virg\u2029said\u2029\u2018bout\u2029the\u2029glove\u2029compartment.Y’all\u2029wanna\u2029hole\u2029up\u2029a\u2029couple\u2029of\u2029days,\u2029stay\u2029in\u2029the\u2029shacks? The\u2029snakes\u2029won\u2019t\u2029bother\u2029ya.\u2029I\u2019ll\u2029\u2029feed\u2029\u2018em\u2029good,\u2029keep\u2029the\u2029cat\u2029in.\u2029\u2029 Anybody\u2029bouncing\u2029down\u2029dat\u2029road,\u2029you\u2029hear\u2029\u2018em\u2029in\u2029time\u2029to\u2029hide. Just\u2029park\u2029your\u2029truck\u2029yonder\u2029out\u00ada\u2029sight\u2029behind\u2029them\u2029trees. So\u2029Homer\u2029got\u2029his\u2029public,\u2029Bea\u2029and\u2029Virg,\u2029time\u2029to\u2029cavort. Me,\u2029a\u2029city\u2029boy,\u2029Daddy,\u2029when\u2029I\u2029was\u2029young,\u2029 used\u2029to\u2029take\u2029me\u2029out\u2029to\u2029hunt\u2029in\u2029the\u2029Piney\u2029Woods.\u2029\u2029 I\u2029liked\u2029it\u2029there,\u2029felt\u2029safe,\u2029like\u2029at\u2029Homer\u2019s\u2029place,\u2029so reckoned\u2029it\u2029wise\u2029to\u2029stay\u2029there\u2029a\u2029while,\u2029bide\u2029time.\u2029 Virg,\u2029too,\u2029needed\u2029time,\u2029had\u2029holt\u2029of\u2029a\u2029wishbone\u2029 he\u2029prayed\u2029to\u2029break\u2029his\u2029way,\u2029shacking\u2029up\u2029with\u2029Bea.\u2029 Thing\u2029was,\u2029I\u2029kept\u2029thinkin’,\u2029I\u2029seen\u2029her\u2029First,\u2029by\u2029rights\u2029Bea should\u2010a\u2029belonged\u2029to\u2029me.\u2029But\u2029Virg,\u2029he\u2029was\u2029my\u2029friend.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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9<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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We\u2029heard\u2029real\u2029music\u2029out\u2029there,\u2029HubCap\u2029I\u2029never\u2029knew. Homer\u2029put\u2029special\u2029feeling\u2029into\u2029one\u2029I\u2029love,\u2029Mashed\u2029 Potatoes\u2029and\u2029Gravy.\u2029\u2029No\u2029one\u2029came\u2029down\u2029the\u2029road.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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10<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Mashed\u2029Potatoes\u2029and\u2029Gravy\u2029\u2013\u2029by\u2029Hub\u2010Cap\u2029Brown<\/p>\n

Mashed\u2029Potatoes\u2029and\u2029gravy\u2029is\u2029all\u2029I\u2029ever\u2029eat Used\u2029to\u2029eat\u2029some\u2029green\u2029beans\u2029back\u2029when\u2029I\u2029had\u2029teeth Twenty\u2029years\u2029of\u2029taters\u2029just\u2029dreamin\u2019\u2029about\u2029some\u2029meat Now\u2029mashed\u2029potatoes\u2029and\u2029gravy\u2029is\u2029all\u2029I\u2029ever\u2029eat<\/p>\n

Back\u2029when\u2029I\u2029had\u2029chompers\u2029I\u2029used\u2029to\u2029could\u2029eat A\u2029big\u2029ol\u2019\u2029piece\u2029of\u2029chicken\u2029and\u2029some\u2029barbecued\u2029meat Then\u2029that\u2029bottle\u2029came\u2029a\u2019\u2029Flyin\u2019\u2029and\u2029before\u2029a\u2029word\u2029was\u2029said That\u2029sucker\u2029hit\u2029me\u2029in\u2029the\u2029mouth\u2029right\u2029there\u2029in\u2029my\u2029head<\/p>\n

My\u2029teeth\u2029went\u2029every\u2029which\u2010a\u2010way,\u2029whiskey\u2029mixed\u2029with\u2029blood I\u2029passed\u2029out\u2029and\u2029hit\u2029the\u2029Floor,\u2029that\u2019s\u2029when\u2029the\u2029Floor\u2029said\u2029THUD Next\u2029day\u2029when\u2029I\u2029woke\u2029up\u2029I\u2029wished\u2029that\u2029I\u2029was\u2029dead Cause\u2029all\u2029my\u2029teeth\u2029were\u2029missing\u2029from\u2029that\u2029big\u2029hole\u2029in\u2029my\u2029head<\/p>\n

Mashed\u2029Potatoes\u2029and\u2029gravy\u2029is\u2029all\u2029I\u2029ever\u2029eat Used\u2029to\u2029eat\u2029some\u2029green\u2029beans\u2029back\u2029when\u2029I\u2029had\u2029teeth Twenty\u2029years\u2029of\u2029taters\u2029just\u2029dreamin\u2019\u2029about\u2029some\u2029meat Now\u2029mashed\u2029potatoes\u2029and\u2029gravy\u2029is\u2029all\u2029I\u2029ever\u2029eat<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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11<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Coda — All There Was Before<\/p>\n

I\u2029was\u2029riding\u2029shotgun,\u2029should\u2019ve\u2029been\u2029at\u2029the\u2029wheel. Just\u2029above\u2029the\u2029trees\u2029herds\u2029of\u2029purple\u2029clouds stampeeded\u2029wild\u2029across\u2029swollen\u2029bruises\u2029in\u2029the\u2029sky.\u2029\u2029 The\u2029wind\u2029kicked\u2029back\u2029at\u2029Virg\u2019s\u2029hands,\u2029his\u2029knuckles\u2029 gripped\u2029hard\u2029to\u2029the\u2029wrapped\u2029naugahyde\u2029rim.\u2029 Hail\u2029pelted\u2029the\u2029windshield,\u2029piled\u2029up\u2029in\u2029slush on\u2029the\u2029shoulders\u2029and\u2029the\u2029cracked\u2029asphalt\u2029slabs.<\/p>\n

A\u2029funny\u2029kind\u2029of\u2029twilight\u2029came\u2029down\u2029on\u2029Virg\u2029and\u2029me.\u2029 He\u2029turned:\u2029Sorry,\u2029Johnny,\u2029Screwed\u2029up\u2029Bad.\u2029\u2029 He\u2029was\u2029quotin\u2019\u2029HubCap\u2029a\u2010course,\u2029but\u2029it\u2029applied.\u2029 Then,\u2029at\u2029that\u2029very\u2029moment,\u2029things\u2029got\u2029real\u2029loud. A\u2029twister\u2029crossed\u2029the\u2029road\u2029a\u2029football\u2029Field\u2029ahead,\u2029 ripping\u2029up\u2029the\u2029Lord\u2029knows\u2029what,\u2029turning\u2029into\u2029junk all\u2029there\u2029was\u2029before.\u2029I\u2029saw\u2029the\u2029makin\u2019s\u2029of\u2029a\u2029house\u2029 whirl\u2029by,\u2029Fiberboard\u2029panels\u2029in\u2029the\u2029air,\u2029dish\u2010pans, a\u2029closet\u2029of\u2029clothes.\u2029I\u2029swear\u2029a\u2029barbecue\u2029pit\u2029Flew\u2029by. The\u2029Chevy\u2029rattled\u2029and\u2029shook,\u2029never\u2029left\u2029the\u2029ground.\u2029\u2029 Then\u2029Virg\u2029grabbed\u2029his\u2029Grand\u2010Daddy\u2019s\u2029gun\u2029from\u2029the\u2029glove compartment,\u2029leaped\u2029down\u2029from\u2029the\u2029cab,\u2029tossed\u2029me the\u2029keys,\u2029headed\u2029the\u2029direction\u2029destruction\u2029went.<\/p>\n

Silence\u2029returned\u2029with\u2029a\u2029strange\u2029new\u2029light.\u2029\u2029Cross\u2029the\u2029clearing\u2029 I\u2029could\u2029see\u2029his\u2029back\u2029as\u2029he\u2029strode\u2029single\u2010mindedly\u2029away. Never\u2029saw\u2029the\u2029man\u2029again,\u2029know\u2029he\u2029ain’t\u2029coming\u2029back.\u2029\u2029 I\u2029gassed\u2029it,\u2029rev\u2019ed\u2029her\u2029up,\u2029laid\u2029some\u2029rubber\u2029out. How\u2029I\u2029got\u2029here\u2029now\u2029and\u2029where\u2029I\u2029went\u2029then\u2029 there\u2029is\u2029no\u2029way\u2029I\u2029can\u2029say.\u2029In\u2029HubCap’s\u2029words\u2029\u00ad\u00ad y\u2019all\u2029know\u2029the\u2029song\u2029\u2010\u00ad\u2029My\u2029Only\u2029Home\u2019s\u2029the\u2029Road.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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12<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Chapters Four, Five and Ten Plus Three HubCap Songs — Homer, I\u2019d Go to Jail for You, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy Xerxes Lang \/ Red Dog Young \u00a9 University Hills, California, July 16, 2011 Prologue “Poetry,\u2029schmoetry,”\u2029Richard\u2029Wilbur\u2029quotes\u2029 one\u2029of\u2029the\u2029Texas\u2029recruits\u2029in\u2029the\u202936th\u2029Bataillon\u2029 saying,\u2029though\u2029he\u2029adds\u2029he\u2029had\u2029 “warm\u2029and\u2029amusing\u2029relationships\u2029 with\u2029almost\u2029everyone,\u2029partly\u2029because,\u2029 mostly\u2029country\u2029Texans,\u2029they\u2029were\u2029 enjoyers\u2029of\u2029words\u2029\u00ad\u00ad\u2029good\u2029storytellers\u2029 and\u2029inventive\u2029cussers.”   This\u2029is\u2029a\u2029poem\u2029in\u2029Southern\u2029speech,\u2029more\u2029precisely\u2029\u201cTexas\u2029Tawk\u201d\u2029\u2010\u2029a\u2029language\u2029I\u2029 more\u2029or\u2029less\u2029forgot\u2029over\u2029the\u2029years.\u2029\u2029You\u2029are\u2029going\u2029to\u2029hear\u2029two\u2029chapters\u2029plus\u2029the\u2029 brief\u2029conclusion,\u2029as\u2029well\u2029as\u2029three\u2029\u201cHubCap\u2029Songs\u201d\u2029by\u2029Red\u2029Dog.\u2029 The\u2029idea\u2029for\u2029Road\u2029House\u2029came\u2029to\u2029me\u2029when\u2029I\u2029was\u2029thinking\u2029about\u2029travel,\u2029and\u2029in\u2029 particular\u2029a\u2029poem\u2029by\u2029Horace\u2029I\u2029once\u2029taught.\u2029I\u2029Fiddled\u2029at\u2029it\u2029a\u2029while\u2029till\u2029I\u2029realized\u2029 I’d\u2029need\u2029some\u2029help.\u2029The\u2029proximity\u2029of\u2029my\u2029cousin\u2029Red\u2029Dog\u2029made\u2029me\u2029think\u2029he\u2029 might\u2029help\u2029me\u2029speak\u2029like\u2029that\u2029again. What\u2029they\u2029call\u2029in\u2029the\u2029movies\u2029plot,\u2029character,\u2029scenario\u2029\u2010\u2029in\u2029all\u2029that\u2029we\u2029became\u2029a\u2029 tag\u2029team.\u2029\u2029The\u2029music\u2029is\u2029his,\u2029from\u2029his\u2029collection\u2029of\u2029HubCap\u2029songs,\u2029Three\u2029Chords\u2029 and\u2029the\u2029Truth. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “First ThrowDown of Road House – 16 July 2011”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

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