The first time HupCap noticed it,
his PD, he’d got up to take a shit
In the middle of the night. Used to fumbling
In the dark but never stumbling,
this time his gait dissolved
into a staccato of unresolved
teeny-weeny stammering steps.
He took his dump, then thought of sex,
went back to the sack where Dolly What
‘s-her-name waited with open arms and twat.
Forgive the language. It’s not HubCap talking
but me, Johnny. He don’t target blue stockings.
He’s a true gentleman, though he can get raunchy
in songs, sometimes enough to offend an auntie.
The next morning, elbowing into his bus-spenders,
Hubcap got ready for an open-ender….